I noticed this a while back and have been meaning to talk about it, but I haven't had the chance. You ever notice guys who, when they're giving interviews or doing analysis, say the name of the sport way too often? Mark Schlereth comes immediately to mind. A typical NFL breakdown with Schlereth goes something like:

Vince Young is a great football player on an up and coming football team. They play hard on the defensive side of the football and don't turn the football over a lot. If they can continue to do that, look for Vince Young and the Titans to do some good things football-wise and surprise the football world this upcoming football season. Football.

I find this absolutely hilarious. Way more so than Phil Simms saying things like, "I think the team that plays better defensively will win this football game." Derek Fisher also does this when giving his TV interviews. Just listen to him next time. He'll drop "basketball" so many times it'll make your head spin. In baseball, Lou Pinella comes to mind, but he doesn't do it nearly as egregiously as these other two.

Some observations I've had so far in this young MLB season

Brad Penny is up to his old tricks again, coming out of the gates hotter than all his actress girlfriends combined. (Really? This fatass gets Alyssa Milano AND Eliza Dushku? The world isn't fair.) He's already 3-0 in his first three starts with an 0.89 ERA. Looks like it's gonna be a repeat of last season, when he blazed through the first half and started the All-Star game, then pitched like he was Mark Hendrickson in the second half. Maybe after the break we can trade him for Elmer Dessens.

Jeff Francoeur already has 6 walks and is on pace for 75. This is amazing considering last year he didn't take a single pitch, successfully fouling off many that were aimed right at his head.

Three fifths of the Yankees rotation is on the DL (Mike Mussina, Chien-Ming Wang, Carl Pavano), meaning they're throwing Andy Pettite, Kei Igawa, and a bunch of minor league callups at the rest of the league. Matsui is hurt, Jeter looks Offerman-esque, and Mariano Rivera's ERA is over 4 points higher than Mark Hendrickson's, which means A-Rod is singlehandedly carrying the team right now. Does all of this matter? Of course not. The next game he goes 0 for 5, Yankee fans will start booing him again. If he doesn't opt out at season's end, he's an idiot.

Dice-K has had a Clemens-like season so far: dominating performances, zero run support. At this rate he'll be reporting to the Sox in May and skipping road trips by the time he's thirty. Btw, who's second on the Red Sox in OPS behind David Ortiz right now? Nope, not Manny. You guessed it. The one, the only, J. D. Drew.

Another example as to why W-L is overrated: Matt Cain has been dominant. He's allowed only 8 hits in 20 innings with 17 K's and a 1.80 ERA. His record? 0-1. This is not fair. It's not Cain's fault the entire Giants starting lineup has AARP membership.

Jason Schmidt was throwing 82 mph fastballs in his last outing. They were so slow the scoreboard operator at Dodger Stadium was calling them change-ups. Now he's on the DL. The last time the Dodgers had a starting pitcher suddenly lose his velocity and began throwing in the low 80's was Hideo Nomo in 2004. And look how great his career was after that. So potentially, with Schmidt on the DL and throwing at Jamie Moyer speed and Juan Pierre hitting an abysmal .220, that's $91 million of Frank McCourt's money down the drain right there. No wonder the cheap mother fucker raised parking prices.

Sammy Sosa is hoppin' around again like the old days as he's currently on pace to hit 37 home runs. Oh the wonders of undetectable HGH. Isn't it great?

Jeff Weaver's line yesterday? 6.0 IP, 7 ER on 10 hits, including one monster grand slam by Torii Hunter. That outing actually lowered his season ERA to 15.75. He will make at least $8 million this year. This is why people hate pro athletes.

So it turns out Josh Beckett doesn't suck after starting the season 3-0 with a 1.50 ERA. He's still an asshole though for plunking Vlad Guerrero on the wrist, rendering him useless until at least Friday and putting my fantasy team in an early-season hole.

Two and a half weeks into the season, the Dodgers have the best record in the Majors at 10-4. I just pissed myself.