Esteban Viene
First David Wells, now ... Esteban Loaiza? I must say, Ned Colletti sure is searching every nook and cranny to find help for his pitching staff. Loaiza actually isn't that bad of a pickup. Sure, he's been hurt all year, but in his two starts since he's come back he has posted a 1.84 ERA. And after last year's All-star break, he was quite decent. Whatever he turns out to be for the Dodgers, it can't be worse than Mark Hendrickson or Brett Tomko.

The Dodgers have finally filled out their pitching staff for the stretch run, and for once it doesn't look like there are any emergency replacement starters among them. Let's take a look at the starting rotation now, and at the beginning of the season:

Opening Day:
Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, Jason Schmidt, Randy Wolf, Brett Tomko
Today:
Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, Chad Billingsley, David Wells, Esteban Loaiza

The entire back end has been overhauled. Schmidt and Wolf couldn't stay healthy, and Tomko couldn't stay good (assuming he ever was). Would you ever have thought that Boomer and Loaiza would be shoring up the back end of the rotation? I sure didn't. With Loaiza on the books for another year, next year's rotation looks to be like this:

(Assuming Schmidt heals up and Wolf's club option isn't picked up)
Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, Chad Billingsley, Jason Schmidt, Esteban Loaiza

And we also have Hong-Chih Kuo getting healthy and Clayton Kershaw moving quickly up the ranks to take over for the older guys. So, like I said before, it wouldn't be the worst thing for the Dodgers to miss the playoffs this year. At least the future still looks bright.

Becks Done?
David Beckham's latest injury could and should end his first MLS season. The Galaxy are already out of playoff contention and he should try to get healthy enough to play for England. If that is indeed the case, then it is a sad day for soccer in America.

Beckham's arrival in this country has been nothing short of a disaster. The pressure on him to play in every game was enormous, and it probably ended up hurting his ankle. The Galaxy have been terrible, going 0-5-1 in MLS games since he's come over, and the only game they won where he did anything was in the Superliga match against DC United. Who knew David Beckham would come to the US and become soccer's version of Mark Prior?

So all hope will be placed on a better showing next year. Hopefully Becks will be healthy and good, and unlike Mark Prior, he'll come back strong, ala Ken Griffey Jr.

The Fat Man Cometh
David Wells made his much anticipated first start for the Dodgers today. To everyone's surprise, it wasn't a total disaster. Boomer pitched 5 innings and gave up only 2 runs en route to a 6-2 Dodger victory. Unfortunately, the Dodgers are still a long shot to win the Wild Card, as they sit 3.5 games back at the moment.

This is reminiscent of last year's trade deadline when we picked up another old soft tosser, Greg Maddux. Maddux went 6-3 and posted a 3.30 ERA in his stint with the club, and helped get the team to the postseason not only with his pitching, but with his mentoring of the Dodger youngsters. Wells may very well be effective on the mound, but I don't see him teaching Chad Billingsley to do anything but down a slice of pizza in 3 bites. Thus, I don't see David Wells helping out enough to overcome that deficit in the standings.

Getting Wells does have one great side-effect that LA fans can be happy about: the cutting of Brett Tomko. Out of all the terrible pitchers we've continually thrown out there in my lifetime (and there have been a lot), Tomko might be the worst of all. That's quite a title considering he has competition like Carlos and Odalis Perez. Tomko this year was 2-11, which is about as worse a record as is humanly possible. Grady Little could have let the mayor of Cincinnati toe the rubber and we would have gotten better results.

Becks Exhausted
David Beckham was tired, so he did not make the trip to Colorado after playing 3 games in 6 days with two 11 hour flights mixed in. The Galaxy ended up getting demolished 3-0. Again.

Since Beckham came to the MLS, the Galaxy have yet to win an actual MLS game. Their only win was over the D.C. United in a Superliga game, which, let's face it, doesn't mean shit. At this rate, it'll only be a few more months til Becks follows in the path of another disgruntled LA superstar, Kobe Bryant, and demands a trade to the Houston Dynamo.

I Am An Idiot
After watching the Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem trailer on IGN, I find myself excited for this movie. Am I proud of that fact? No. But I am excited.

Ever since they shamed both great series by making the first Alien vs. Predator, I have been waiting for someone to bring some respectability back. Will that happen with this movie? Probably not. But I am excited.

I am a huge fan of Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, and Predator (Alien: Resurrection and Predator 2 never happened), and I guess I just can't get enough of these violent extraterrestrials, no matter how steaming the turd-of-a-movie may be. I can't help it. I am an idiot. Because chances are this movie will stink just as hard as the last, yet I am still excited.

To Michael Vick:

Don't Drop the Soap.
See You Soon.

Sincerely,
Cell Block D

Michael Vick plans to plead guilty in his federal dogfighting case, in case you hadn't heard. But that's highly unlikely since ESPN spent the entire afternoon bringing every analyst they had on their 2395 channels on to talk about it. That meant I ended up missing the Walpole vs. Lake Oswego Little League game. Assholes.

But seriously, everyone in the media is placing way too much emphasis on this story, mostly because it's so unusual. Never before have we heard of a superstar athlete participating in dogfighting. We've heard the rape thing (Mike Tyson, Marv Albert), the wife beating thing (Allen Iverson, Milton Bradley, Jason Kidd), the drug thing (Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden, Shawn Kemp), the gun thing (Stephen Jackson, Tank Johnson)... Really. I could go on. Never, however, have we heard about a dogfighting case. And that's what makes this story so interesting to the media.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't all those crimes I just listed more offensive than killing a few dogs? Don't get me wrong, I love dogs. I never owned one as a kid but I always loved them and I plan on getting one some time later in life. But at the end of the day it's just a dog, not a human being. I was getting my hair cut when I found out about Vick's plea bargain, which will undoubtedly net him some jail time and an NFL suspension. My barber thought people place the value of dogs way too high in this country, and I'm beginning to think he's right.

This case has been the lead story in every major branch of sports media for the last 6 months now. 6 months! When an athlete beats their wife, it stays story for what, a week? Maybe two? The egregiousness of the crime and the attention being paid to it don't match up. The whole nation has been supersaturated with this nonsense and now it's just annoying. I just wish this story would go away because I don't care.

I don't care about Michael Vick. And why should I? I live in LA. We don't even have an NFL team here. The NFL is third on my list of favorite sports behind MLB and the NBA. Vick is 3000 miles away and was playing for a mediocre team to begin with. The only way this case affects me as a fan is in fantasy and future Madden releases. We have better things to do here on the West Coast than to worry about Mike Vick. But then again, I just took the time to type out this post. Maybe that means I should find something better to do...

Quality Television
In other news, Kevin Federline has signed on to guest star on some upcoming episodes of One Tree Hill.

The CW... Bringing you the best in quality television since 2006.

Beckham Great. Attendance, Not So Much
David Beckham had his first start for the Galaxy on Wednesday night, and everyone got a glimpse at how much better he was than everyone else on the field. In just 63 minutes of playing time, Beckham notched a goal and an assist. The dozens of Galaxy fans in attendance rejoiced.

The Beckham sideshow has been going on for about a month now, and nobody seems to be able to figure out yet whether he'll do anything for soccer in this country. The Galaxy have been selling out on the road, yet in just the second home game in which Becks played, they couldn't even draw 10,000 to the Home Depot Center. As of now, it looks like the novelty will wear off sooner rather than later.

Beckham's brilliant play in Wednesday's Superliga match can be construed both ways. Sure, it looks like the Galaxy are going to get a huge return for their money on the pitch. But if Becks can dominate the game like he did going just 70%, perhaps it confirms the fact that the MLS is nothing more than soccer's AAA. People in America will not watch anything other than the best in the world. That's why the USFL, XFL, ABA, and CBA all failed. That, combined with the fact that soccer makes Vince Young's Wonderlic results seem high scoring, means that this sport will never catch on in the United States.

And what's with the whole Superliga thing, anyway? It's all too complicated. There's MLS, Superliga, Copa de Americas, and all this other crap in soccer, which makes it just too hard to follow for the average American fan. In the NFL, you're in one league: The National Football League. That's it. Same in baseball. You're either in the American League, or the National League. You don't see the Dodgers playing the Padres in the NL West one day, then playing the Nippon Ham Fighters of the NPB the next, then playing Curacao in the WBC the next. It'd be too much. Soccer need to learn to keep things simple with the leagues.

So Beckham will continue to be great on the pitch. He'll appear in commercials and on magazine covers. He'll be photographed wearing ridiculous clothing walking around with his ridiculous wife. Women will continue to swoon. But will anyone actually care more about the game? Fat chance.

Holy Shit! The Dodgers Have Won 4 Straight!
Don't look now, but those boys in blue are makin' a mini-run, just like I said they'd have to in order to get back into the race. They're just 2.5 games back in the Wild Card, and let's be honest. That's all they can hope for at this point.

This is reminiscent of last year, when after losing 13 of 14 coming out of the All-Star break, they won 17 of their next 18 to catapult themselves back into contention. Although last year at this point in the season they were 7 games above .500. This year they're only 4 games above .500. It will probably take a similar miracle run to nag that last playoff spot.

Of course, now that I've proposed it, chances are the team will go into a nosedive and the Dodgers will be scheduling tee times come October.

Dodgers Down the Toilet
Jesus Christ, I leave town for a few days and it all goes to hell. When I left LA at the beginning of the weekend, the Dodgers were just a game back of Arizona and were about to start a three game set with the snakes to maybe take back the lead. Throughout the weekend, I had no way of keeping track of what was happening. I was too busy being drunk in the streets of San Francisco. And not to mention driving for 16 hours (more on this later). I came back late Sunday night and was completely and utterly shocked to discover the Blue Crew had been swept like dust bunnies.

They now sit 4 games back with about a quarter of the season left, and I'm about ready to throw in the towel. This happens every year around this time, when the sheer length of the season drains all the energy out of you. Their pitching has been awful, and their offense painfully inefficient. So can we end the suffering already? It might be a little premature, but if they don't make a run in the next week or so, the season will have officially gone DOWN THE TOILET.

Clippers Down the Toilet
Elton Brand ruptured his Achilles tendon. He's out for at least 6 months, probably even longer. But for speculation sake, let's say he'll be out 6 months. He would then come back in February, when the team will have already played half the season.

Last year, the team struggled to make the playoffs with EB. Now, they'll have to go the entire first half without him? They've got no chance. Write this season off as already going DOWN THE TOILET.

Lakers Down the Toilet
Jermaine O'Neal has been publicly lobbying for a trade to LA lately. The talks have stalled, however, as the Lakers are unwilling to give up both Lamar Odom, and Andrew Bynum in the deal. Regardless of who they give up, Jermaine O'Neal isn't making the Lakers a title contender anyway. Kobe will eventually whine his way out of town. Mark this upcoming season DOWN THE TOILET.

Galaxy Down the Toilet
David Beckham has yet to play in a regular MLS match. Since his 16 minute toe-dip into the LA Galaxy world in a friendly against Chelsea, Becks has played exactly zero minutes. This would be fine if it were any athlete other than David Beckham. Athletes get injured. It happens. But this is David Beckham.

The recent Galaxy games in Dallas and Toronto both sold out, and it wasn't cause they wanted to see Landon Donovan. FC Dallas and Toronto FC both had to apologize to their fans for Beckham's DNP, and Dallas even went as far as to offer all fans who bought a ticket for the game a free ticket for next year's match against LA.

This week, RFK Stadium in DC has been sold out, even though it's still unclear whether Beckham will be able to play. Regardless, it is doubtful that his presence on the pitch will help the team to remedy their 3-5-5 record this season. The Galaxy are already DOWN THE TOILET.

The Drive to the Bay
When you live in LA, driving is a way of life. It's either that, or bear with the awful Metro system, which about 7 people choose to do. I've lived here forever, so I'm used to the traffic. But everyone has a breaking point. This weekend I drove to the Bay Area for my friend's birthday, and took the 101 all the way up because of a necessary stop in Santa Barbara. The trip took 8 hours each way.

Needless to say, that is more than anyone wants to spend in a car in a given day. It is by far the worst of the California drives. From here on out, I promise to only make the following drives out of LA. Anything else, and I'm flying:

SF Bay - If you take the 5, the trip takes about 6 hours, max. That's much more bearable, plus you can numb yourself into a trance by focusing on all the rows of crops rolling by.
San Diego - If you leave at the right time, a quick 2 hour romp down the 405 is all it takes and you're there. And don't forget the power plant on the way that looks like a pair of boobs. That one never gets old.
Las Vegas - The Vegas drive is undoubtedly the most fun of all the "out of LA" drives. There's a nice convenient half-way stopping point in Barstow and the entire trip takes less than 4 hours. If you come up on Vegas at night, it's even better. The excitement builds as you plow through the desert and you see Wild Bill's, then a couple other "middle-of-nowhere" hotels, and finally the City of Lights herself. Then it hits you that you're gonna have a damn good time, and nothing beats that feeling. Vegas, baby. Vegas.

So anyway, my point is I will never again take the 101 all the way up to the bay. Sorry Emi.