To Michael Vick:

Don't Drop the Soap.
See You Soon.

Sincerely,
Cell Block D

Michael Vick plans to plead guilty in his federal dogfighting case, in case you hadn't heard. But that's highly unlikely since ESPN spent the entire afternoon bringing every analyst they had on their 2395 channels on to talk about it. That meant I ended up missing the Walpole vs. Lake Oswego Little League game. Assholes.

But seriously, everyone in the media is placing way too much emphasis on this story, mostly because it's so unusual. Never before have we heard of a superstar athlete participating in dogfighting. We've heard the rape thing (Mike Tyson, Marv Albert), the wife beating thing (Allen Iverson, Milton Bradley, Jason Kidd), the drug thing (Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden, Shawn Kemp), the gun thing (Stephen Jackson, Tank Johnson)... Really. I could go on. Never, however, have we heard about a dogfighting case. And that's what makes this story so interesting to the media.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't all those crimes I just listed more offensive than killing a few dogs? Don't get me wrong, I love dogs. I never owned one as a kid but I always loved them and I plan on getting one some time later in life. But at the end of the day it's just a dog, not a human being. I was getting my hair cut when I found out about Vick's plea bargain, which will undoubtedly net him some jail time and an NFL suspension. My barber thought people place the value of dogs way too high in this country, and I'm beginning to think he's right.

This case has been the lead story in every major branch of sports media for the last 6 months now. 6 months! When an athlete beats their wife, it stays story for what, a week? Maybe two? The egregiousness of the crime and the attention being paid to it don't match up. The whole nation has been supersaturated with this nonsense and now it's just annoying. I just wish this story would go away because I don't care.

I don't care about Michael Vick. And why should I? I live in LA. We don't even have an NFL team here. The NFL is third on my list of favorite sports behind MLB and the NBA. Vick is 3000 miles away and was playing for a mediocre team to begin with. The only way this case affects me as a fan is in fantasy and future Madden releases. We have better things to do here on the West Coast than to worry about Mike Vick. But then again, I just took the time to type out this post. Maybe that means I should find something better to do...

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In other news, Kevin Federline has signed on to guest star on some upcoming episodes of One Tree Hill.

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