What a day it was for Los Angeles sports yesterday. UCLA spanks USC, the Lakers top the Clippers, and perhaps most important of all, the Ducks beat the Kings.

We'll start with the most shocking of the bunch: UCLA overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to topple the USC football juggernaut. This was easily the biggest win of Karl Dorrell's coaching tenure, and the most exciting thing to happen to Bruin football since I've been here. Even though record-wise, last year was Dorrell's best, this win vaults this season of UCLA football over each of the last seven seasons. The running cliche at UCLA is you can lose every game, but if you beat SC, it's a good season. That saying came to fruition this year, where the Bruins went a disappointingly mediocre 7-5. All of the low points of the season were thrown out the window after yesterday's game.

I actually didn't get to tune in til the start of the second quarter, when we were up 7-2. When halftime came, we were down 9-7 and I was fully expecting a 2nd half collapse from the Bruins. But the exact opposite happened. The defense clamped down tighter than a virgin's vagina and held the potent SC offense scoreless. Justin Medlock, the best college kicker out there right now, stopped driving drunk into telephone poles long enough to kick two field goals and we took the game 13-9.

As the final seconds ticked down, the screaming started all over Westwood. Then came the burning of furniture and setting off of illegal fireworks. And finally, to complete the cycle, the police, firefighters, and paramedics came around to douse the flaming sofas littering the streets. It was a crazy scene, reminiscent of what happened when the 2000 Lakers won it all, but on a more toned down scale.

Speaking of the Lakers, they beat the Clippers again last night, to take a 2-0 lead in the season series. Weren't the Clippers supposed to be better this year? How are they under .500? They were supposed to be contenders. This is completely unacceptable, and there's only one man to blame - MDS himself, Mike Dunleavy Sr. The Clippers' only problem at the beginning of the season was that they had too many good players and didn't know how they would get minutes for everyone. They're maybe the deepest team in the league and Dunleavy somehow has them vastly underachieving. I haven't trusted the guy since the whole "stick a cold Daniel Ewing on Raja Bell in the most important play of the series" disaster last year.

Instead of giving MDS that 4 year extension last week, Elgin Baylor should have just waited for his contract to expire and given the job next year to the best coach the Clippers have right now: Sam Cassell. It's likely that this is Sam's last contract before he hangs up his kicks anyway, and he would make a great coach. It worked for Avery Johnson and Dallas, why couldn't it work for the Clippers? But alas, now I'm dreading the thought of having the Charlie Brown look-a-like stroll the Clippers sideline for the next four years.

Packaging Kudos of the Day: I was strolling the aisles at Ralph's today, and I noticed that now both hot dogs and buns now come in packages of 8. Props to the packaging people who finally realized the 2 bun disparity was ridiculously retarded. I credit most of this change to Steve Martin and his original rant on the subject in The Father of the Bride (coincidentally filmed in my hometown).

Oh. What? You actually expected me to talk about the Kings/Ducks game? Oh. My bad. Sorry.