Monday, October 30, 2006

The baseball season is finally over, with the Cardinals taking home the big prize. Does anyone outside of St. Louis actually care? How ironic is it that the wost Cardinal team in recent years is the one that ends up winning it all blah blah blah ... who cares. The offseason is here! Free agents have already started to file and Olmedo Saenz has already started fattening up for hibernation. As for the rest of the Dodger organization, looks like another offseason of tinkering. Lets take a look at the top 5 things Ned Colletti should and shouldn't do this offseason.

1) Ned SHOULD let Nomar go. It was a great year for Nomar. He won the Comeback Player of the Year award, was the most clutch hitter in the National League, and gained the love of Dodger fans everywhere. Sadly, here is where it must end. We all knew when he was signed that he was just a temporary stop-gap until the youngin's were ready to take over, and they are. James Loney is ready. He already has the best glove in the NL, and during his September call-up and in the playoffs he proved his .380 clip in AAA this year was no fluke. Loney will be the Dodgers' starting first baseman next season. As for Nomar, maybe he should give Boston another shot?

2) Ned SHOULD NOT continue bringing Giants over to the Dodgers. The only thing worse than bringing in a bunch of Devil Rays (which he did way too much of last season) is bringing in a bunch of Giants. Last season Colletti brought in Bill Mueller, Brett Tomko, Kenny Lofton, and Ramon Martinez, all former Giants. If you thought the orange and black invasion ended there, you were wrong. This past week, he hired former Giants trainer Stan Conte (of no relation to BALCO founder Victor Conte, yeah, right, coincidence) to become the new head trainer of the Dodgers, ensuring that the Dodgers will be the most juiced team in the league next season. At this rate, it's a mortal lock that Colletti will shell out $50 million so that Jason Schmidt can make 15 starts a year for us. Hey Ned, I hear Juiceman's a free agent...

3) Ned SHOULD run Joe Beimel out of town. For those of you who don't know, Beimel showed up to the NLDS with a deep gash in his pitching hand and was thus left off the postseason roster. He told the team it happened when he dropped a glass while getting a drink of water out of his hotel sink. It was later revealed that he got hurt not drinking water at his hotel sink, but rather drinking whiskey at the bar down the street. Everyone found it a bit fishy to begin with. First of all, nobody really drinks out of their hotel sink. Second, last time I checked, when you drop something it means the object is no longer in contact with you. Hard to imagine such a large cut was made after dropping a glass. What a douchebag. Because of him we had to pitch Mark Hendrickson's ineffective ass in the 7th. Beimel's lying lips must go. The Dodgers have had a good run of turning obscure left handers into serviceable relievers in recent years. Tom Martin (who's a dead ringer for Christian Bale), Kelly Wunsch, and then Beimel were all no-namers who made the team and were effective. I think we can do it one more time.

4) Ned SHOULD NOT allow Takashi Saito to go back to Japan. Offer him a 2 year deal worth around $8 million. That should be enough to get him to stay. Without Saito our bullpen is shakier than Tara Reid after a night out. Jonathan Broxton is probably still a year away from being able to close, and nobody knows if Eric Gagne will throw another pitch in his life. Offer him all the Mitsubishis, Toyotas, and Fujitsus he wants. Saito has to be resigned. It's a must.

5) Ned SHOULD acquire a power bat. Last season the Dodgers were second to last in the National League in home runs. Only the Pirates hit less. A power bat has to be the first thing on Colletti's list. A power bat that plays center field or third base would be even better, as the Dodgers have major question marks at both positions. There's no way Kenny Lofton's 4925 year old legs should be resigned, Matt Kemp is still too much of a lock to swing at the 2-strike slider in the dirt, and Wilson Betemit looks like the second coming of Jose Offerman at third. Some names that would fit perfectly? How about Andruw Jones? Alfonso Soriano? Gary Matthews Jr.? Hell, I'd even take A-Rod if we don't have to give up the farm to get him. Please just don't sign Alex Cintron and call it a successful offseason.

Note - Here comes the NBA! Look for the first round ball post of the season later in the week.

1 Comments:

At 10:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry totally forgot about the eprops so i am giving it to u now. except they don't do eprops anymore?! or did it just never do it.. oh well u still get them anyways. i'm expecting some in return too ;)
-emi

 

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