Since the Dodgers have an off day tomorrow, I need something else to write about while I'm bored here at work. Well, I've never done a rankings list here in this blog. Here goes nothin!

Nobody in America thinks anyone in the National League has a shot at winning the World Series this year. How can virtually every sportswriter in the nation write off the entire NL without so much as a second thought? Sure, the AL raped them in interleague play and won the All-Star game, but we were leading that game until Hoffman came in and blew it (of course he did, but he'll never blow one against the Dodgers). People need to remember that in the playoffs, anything can happen. In a five game series, even the Devil Rays have an 18% chance of beating the Yankees (Moneyball says so, if I remember correctly).

In my view, there are two National League teams that actually have a chance at winning it all this year, should they get that far (it's an easy guess). So let's review the entire NL. I've ranked the teams going into the stretch run from bottom to top. Here we go:

16. Pittsburgh Pirates
Poor Jim Tracy. After getting canned by cheap-ass Frank McCourt and nerd-ass Paul DePodesta, Trace thought he was gonna get a fresh start in Pittsburgh. Going into the season, the club looked promising. The Pirates had a good crop of young talent: Jason Bay, a slick middle infield duo of Jack Wilson and Jose Castillo, and some young pitching (Zach Duke, Oliver Perez) that had shown flashes in the past. Instead, the Pirates are a train wreck. Tracy has in no way been able to put anything together, and how can you really expect him to when old lard-asses like Jeromy Burnitz and Joe Randa are on the payroll? The pitching has been god-awful, with Perez, the expected staff ace traded away midseason because of his crappiness. This looks like a dead-in-the-water franchise with no hope of rescue anytime soon. Two good things have come out of this season however. The emergence of Mike Gonzalez, and Pittsburgh's discovery of the Jim Tracy self-interview.

"Has the season been going well so far? I don't think you can quantify that in wins and losses. Have we shown day-to-day improvement for our young guys? I can't say the answer to that is no."

Atta boy Jim, way to do the reporter's job for him. Oh how we miss you in LA.

15. Chicago Cubs
What can you say? They're the Cubs. Once full of potential, Dusty Baker has made it his mission that Kerry Wood and Mark Prior will have to amputate their arms by next season due to inflated pitch counts. Once Derek Lee went down, it was all over with. 98 years is a long time to not win a World Series, and it doesn't look like that drought will end anytime soon. You almost feel sorry for them. They seriously need to overhaul the pitching and coaching staff. The sooner the better.

14. Washington Nationals
What a douchebag Jim Bowden is. He doesn't trade Alfonso Soriano at the deadline, but does trade Gary Majewski for Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez, an absolute steal. The Reds got hosed, even if Majewski was healthy, which he isn't. This has made Cincinnati angry, and understandably so. Bowden withheld prior arm trouble issues during the deal, and now Majewski's been shelved. Complete and utter Bush League move by Bowden. You'd think a Major League GM would have more integrity than that. It serves them right that they're in the NL East cellar.

13. Florida Marlins
Their payroll stands at $16 million. The Yankees have eight players making more than that per year. And yet, they're only 9 games below .500 when everyone thought they'd lose 100 games. You've gotta love the job Joe Girardi has done, even putting his job on the line to keep his boss in check. Marlins owner Jeffery Loria was heckling the home plate ump during their recent sweep by the Dodgers when Girardi told him to shut up, prompting Loria to ready a press conference to announce Girardi's firing. Then he wisely realized he was being a dumbass. Note to all pro sports owners: Just sit there and watch. Don't yell at the umps like a drunk fan and jeopardize your team's chances. Look at Mark Cuban. Is it any coincidence Dwayne Wade got fouled every time he touched the ball in the finals? I think not.

They will be a good team in the future, once all their kids grow up. Then they'll sell them all off to the Yanks and Sox and start the whole thing over again.

12. San Francisco Giants
HAH! The jerkwads. Serves them right. Orange and black assholes deserve to be in last place. They've put all their eggs into the Juiceman basket this season, only to realize the Juiceman isn't good enough anymore to carry the team by himself. They have an outfield with an average age of 143, and their entire bullpen enjoys throwing BP in the late innings. They'll need to do a major revamp this offseason, starting with forgetting Juicer #25. He'll either retire or end up with the Angels, where Dodger fans can hate him even more.

11. Atlanta Braves
It was great while it lasted, but the 14 year reign of Brave supremacy in the NL East is over. All is not lost for them however. They've still got a good mix of veterans and young guys in the lineup, although I was never a big Jeff Francouer fan with his 4 walks per season. Their pitching is their problem. Never thought youda said that about a Braves team would ya? With Smoltz getting old and Hudson no longer an ace, they need to revamp that starting staff. And you know the bullpen can't be good when you're running Danys Baez out there every night. Though with the braintrust of John Scheurholz and Bobby Cox on the payroll, I have a feeling it wont be long before they have this team back on top.

10. Milwaukee Brewers
At the beginning of the season everyone dubbed them the sleeper team to watch out for this season. The only thing Brewer-related I've been watching is Chorizo-gate. They've got some nice young players, but who really cares? It's the Brewers. I've never viewed them as half decent since Shawn Green went off on them a few years back. Really? You let Shawn Green hit 1.200 against you with 50 HR and an OPS of 5.000? How can anyone take them seriously after that? EVEN SO! .... the sausage racers are the best mascots in the league. BRING BACK THE CHORIZO!

9. Colorado Rockies
That humidor is really working. Coors Field went from being a hitter's heaven to a Petco Park in the span of one season. If they're not drenching the balls there, then I don't know what's happening. That's the only feasible explanation. As it is, the team is showing signs of improvement. They've got some good young players in Garrett Atkins (UCLA alum), Matt Holliday, and Jeff Francis. But the Dodgers' youngsters are better. It's hard to see them winning the division anytime soon. Their pitching is never good enough, even with the soaked balls. That doesn't sound right.

By the way, has there been a guy with a more sudden inexplicable loss in power that just so happened to coincide with the MLB commencing steroid testing but somehow nobody mentions anything - more so than Todd Helton? Can you say Juiceman?

8. Philadelphia Phillies
I've never taken the Phillies seriously. How can you? They're always stuck in mediocrity, even more so than the Dodgers. You know their lineup has some pop even without Bobby Abreu, with Rollins, Utley, Howard and Burrell making the core. But their pitching has not been up to par, and has never been since they let Curt Schilling go. Utley (UCLA alum) and Howard are great, but you get the feeling they'll be in the middle of the pack forever.

7. Houston Astros
Outside of mighty Lance, this team can't hit for shit. It serves Roger Clemens right that they never score any runs for him. No player in the league acts as much above everybody else on his team as the Rocket. Not even Bonds. First he waits until halfway through the season to decide to play again (time when he could have been pitching, maybe putting the Astros higher up in the standings). Roger doesn't go on road trips where he isn't scheduled to start. Roger shows up to the ballpark whenever he feels like it. He basically goes in once every fifth day, pitches, and ditches the team until he starts again. What kind of teammate does that? I don't care how great your career has been, you don't act above other guys on the team. It's a recipe for disaster, and zero run support is what he deserves.

And poor Brad Lidge. Has any closer ever been so dominant, and then so terrible so quickly? He must wake up in a cold sweat every morning as shadows of Albert Pujols circle the room. That home run will haunt him for the rest of his life. Sad.

6. Arizona Diamondbacks
They've managed to stay alive so far with Brandon Webb, a decent bullpen, and a bunch of average hitters. But their young guys just aren't good enough to push them into the playoffs. I don't know what else to say about them. I don't know if there is anything else. They're a boring team. Although Stephen Drew has already had a stretch where he played 7 straight games, shattering the family record.

5. San Diego Padres
I still don't know how they win. They have no stars. Their most recognizable player is a 97 year old closer who throws in the 80's. I just don't know how they do it. The Padres have a bunch of decent guys and I guess it all ads up to them being decent enough to stay in contention. But the problem with that is: No stars = no greatness. They won't be able to go anywhere in the postseason, if they get there that is. Which they probably won't now that the Dodgers are owning up the league.

Brian Giles, btw, is another "coincidental unexplained power loss with steroid testing" guy. Other guys include, but are not limited to: Mike Lowell, Bret Boone, Sammy Sosa (obvious), and Kevin Millar. I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of any off the top of my head. If you can come up with one, leave a comment please.

4. Cincinnati Reds
Now we're getting to the teams that would be in the playoffs if the playoffs started today. The fact that one of them is Cincinnati befuddles me a bit. The Reds have never been good as long as I can remember (and I'm not old enough to remember or appreciate their 1990 WS win). For the last few years they've been a Colorado-like team: all bats and no arms. Granted, their pitching has improved a bit (Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo are actually decent). And they whack the ball out of that joke ballpark they have. But still, the Reds? It's not as much of a shock as if the Devil Rays made the playoffs, but I'm just not sold on them. If they do hang onto the wildcard, they'll be ousted in the first round of the playoffs by any of the other three teams.

Though it is good to see Griffey back healthy and doing so well. This guy was a surefire first ballot Hall of Famer even if he had never played a game after his first big injury. We're talking about hands down the greatest hitter in the 90's here. Hopefully he gets a few more healthy years in. I have to mention Adam Dunn too. A dead ringer for Will Ferrell, this guy never gets the credit he deserves because he strikes out 800 times a season and bats .250. But every year you can book him for 40 homers, 100 RBI's, and an OPS above .900. If he continues doing this for the rest of his career and ends up with over 600 HR's, would he make the Hall of Fame? It's an interesting question...

3. St. Louis Cardinals
What happened to these guys? In seasons past, this was the most feared lineup in the league, with Walker, Pujols, Edmonds and Rolen making up its core. Well, Walker's retired, Pujols is still Pujols, Edmonds is on the decline and Rolen is always hurt. Their pitching, outside of Chris Carpenter, has been dreadful. Anytime you have to sign Jeff Weaver to help bolster your staff, it's not a good sign. Yet they manage to stay in the division lead over a dreadful NL Central; barely. They should be walking all over this division, yet they're only 1.5 games up. It just goes to show how far they've fallen since being swept by the Red Sox in 2004.

Even so, I must mention that they are in fact 7-0 against the Dodgers this season, all of which coming in that dismal 1-13 post-All-Stark-break stretch. Here's to hoping we avoid them in the playoffs.

2. Los Angeles Dodgers
Ah, finally to my beloved Dodgers. Even though they got shelled yesterday, they still have won 17 of their last 19 and remain the hottest team in either league. If they can keep it up and win the division, I like their chances in the playoffs. The Dodgers are in a virtual tie with St. Louis for the second best record in the National League. If they can finish the season with a better record than the Cards, we'll have home field advantage over them in the playoffs, which will certainly help considering the aforementioned 0-7 record.

Once they get to the postseason, the Dodgers can throw 3 experienced pitchers at you, all with WS rings in Penny, Lowe, and Maddux. Then you can go to Billingsley for a 4th game if needed (hoping his control's there) and avoid the weak spots in the staff (Sele and Hendrickson). The bullpen has been fantastic lately. The lineup, albeit devoid of any power whatsoever, is still one of those menacing "They-just-keep-coming" orders, without a weak hitter in the bunch. There's about a month and a half left in the season. If we can hold off Arizona and San Diego, we've got a good shot. Remember, in the playoffs, anything can happen.

1. New York Mets
It seems to be a consensus that the mighty Mets are going to bowl over the rest of the NL on their way to the World Series. Not so fast I say. The Mets have some problems that make them very vulnerable. If Pedro's out, their playoff rotation looks like Glavine, Trachsel, El Duque. Not very intimidating at all. Pedro needs to be healthy and dominant if the Mets are going to win.

The most important thing working against them: karma. The whole Lo Duca-gate is a terrible burden on him and the team. If you haven't heard, Pauly is a raging gambler (but not on baseball he says) and has numerous debts to pay to his bookies. In addition to that, he and his wife are going through a bitter divorce at the moment. Now, if you haven't seen his wife, let it be known. Sonia Lo Duca is a sizzling hot former Playboy model. The reason for their divorce? Infidelity. She caught him cheating on her. How can you cheat on a woman that hot? I just don't understand it. What an asshole. The Mets can't win now. It's karma.

Now I have to bring it up that the last time the Mets were dominant was in 1988. The Mets were the NL powerhouse with Doc Gooden, Darryl Strawberry (pre coke), David Cone, and a slew of crafty veterans. That year, the Mets faced the Dodgers in the NLCS. The Dodgers had a mystical season, with Hershiser's record, Gibson's MVP, and a division championship with one of the weakest lineups ever. Still, nobody picked them to beat the Mets, but they did. They went on to the World Series against the A's where Gibson happened. Can it happen again this year? I can imagine it now... "Nomar Garciaparra, injured, will not play in tonight's World Series game." ... Scully: "It's the bottom of the ninth, with two out, Furcal on first ... And look who's coming up! ... Nomar Garciaparra, on two bad legs ... boy, you talk about a roll of the dice; this is it! ... High drive to deep left field! She is gone! and the Dodgers win it!"

Hey, a fan can dream right?